This is Part 2 of a multi-part post. You might want to read Part 1 so you are fully in tune with this difficult situation. I'm sharing our story hoping you might benefit from this, and know you are not alone raising a difficult child.
The amount of resentment I had stored up against my husband was getting the best of me, and was probably the main motivation behind my effort to find guidance to deal with our willful child. I didn't have access to the Internet back in 1997-98, and still relied on word-of-mouth recommendations, wives-tales and the library (remember those?) to get a handle on our child's “misbehavior”. Needless to say, most of the advise I got was related to spoiling her; don't let her get away with it, put her in a time out, etc.